Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Sick of Her Crap

I'm sure you thought I was speaking metaphorically, but alas, no. I literally mean I am sick of her CRAP. As in poo. 

See, I have a four year old who is indeed potty trained. She knows what the potty is for. She knows how to sit on it. She has even been trained like Pavlov's dog to expect an M&M on occasion for using it. But this four year old of mine has a mind of her own. Much to my chagrin.

The problem seems to be that she refuses to stop playing and use the aforementioned potty. Nope, she just plays like it's no body's business and at the last possible minute, when she can hold it for only about two more seconds, she freezes. Trying to desperately figure out how to make it the 25 feet to a bathroom, any bathroom, and potty. I've seen her face on a few of these occasions. I'm the one screaming, "Well, run! Don't just stand there and make a big flippin mess!"

It is, of course, too late at that point. So I have a child who is either wet or poopy and knows her momma is going to be none too happy about it. At that point what is the best thing to do? Well, try and cover it up of course.

I have found wet and soiled clothes in the hamper and tucked away under a rug. I have found an entire container of baby wipes shoved down the toilet after the effort to clean up has been made. I have soaked more panties so they could be washed more times than I care to count. 

We have gone around and around and around on this issue. I've been mad, madder and furious. She's shed tears....and promptly returned to her normal gleeful self 30 seconds later. And nothing changes.

Just today we had to detour on our way to ballet to change clothes after school. Then while at ballet she knew it was coming and just tried to hold it back. Only somewhat successful. So there I sat in the pinkest of all bathrooms telling her we would sit there all night until she had a complete poo. "But I can't go!" she insisted. "Well, then, PUSH.IT.OUT because I'm not leaving until you do."

She didn't.

A mere five minutes later, I saw her looking at me with big eyes perfectly still by the pre-K toys in the lobby. "Reese, do you need to go now?"


"Reese get over here right now." And she ran at me at lightning speed. Naturally two girls were locked in the bathroom changing. My only course of action was to start pleading with God. 

"PLEASE let them hurry. All I've done for the past two hours is be mad at her for not going on the potty and now she needs to go and we can't. Puh-leeeeeese!" The door opened and I shooed those girls out of there so fast. I just told them if we didn't get in, Reese might poop all over their precious new ballet floor. Hey, it was entirely possible.

So, we made it. Her pipes are clean until tomorrow. Two pairs of panties are soaking in the laundry room, and I am again calm. One day she will have one of her own. (at least) That child will have a mind of his  or her own.....and every Christmas I am certain this grandmother will give underwear as a gift, while smiling knowingly at my beautiful daughter. Because I have been there and will understand. 

My mother in law has a sign hanging in her kitchen that reads, "Grandchildren are God's gift for not killing your kids." I'm starting to believe there is some truth to that.


Lorren said...

I can TOTALLY see your face as I read this post. Priceless!!!

Runningmama said...

That sounds like a laundry nightmare! How frustrating!!

Dana~Are We There Yet? said...

We need to have lunch soon. I have ideas...

Cindy Beall said...

Oh my word, this is so very funny. I can totally her you saying EV-REE-THANG.

I totally believe the truth about the grandkids being a gift because my mother, well, she just doesn't care and spoils them rotten and then turns right around and leaves.

The nerve.

PEZmama said...

Oh, Robin. I'm sorry... that really stinks.

(I had to.)

Kelly said...

Oh bless your heart, I can SO feel your pain. Love your mother in laws sign, too, and am thinking I will definitely want one of my own when my girls are grown. They've been giving me a run for my money the past couple of weeks:-)

dusty takle said...

Anna did the same thing for a while...but she would just pee, not poop. I don't even know what we did to stop it. I did yell. A lot. Hmmm. Sorry. No help on this end.

But fuh-uh-ny.

Roxanne Kristina said...

Just found you via Boo Mama.


Thanks for the giggle!