Saturday, January 31, 2009


When I was growing up I don't recall my mom going to many baby or wedding showers that weren't held at the school. When the party is in the teacher's lounge and food is present, teachers just show up after work with a gift for the bride or new momma and a gift of gab. It's pretty simple. I don't recall ever seeing R.S.V.P. on any of the "invitations" hung on the bulletin board beside the teachers' boxes. So, not only have I never heard my mother discuss the use of the R.S.V.P, but I'm not sure I really knew of it's importance until I got married.

Now that I think about it, who needed R.S.V.P's when you were a kid. We weren't so crazy busy. If a neighborhood kid or fellow student invited you to his or her birthday party, you came. Your parents practically forced you. It was two to three hours of free babysitting on a Saturday afternoon. Ahhhh, the sheer bliss. I bet my parents just walked around the house and enjoyed the silence or maybe sat on the couch and watched something other than cartoons. We only had one t.v. so we had to share. 

But today the R.S.V.P. is very important. Because you see, WE are all very important. Every one is now crazy busy with extra-curricular activities, traveling or really needing to rest from the week of busyness. It's important to let people know if you plan to attend their gathering. 

What I have found over the past ten years of throwing my own wedding showers, baby showers and children's parties is that people are rude. They think their time is much more precious than yours and you should be so lucky that they would even show up at your gathering, has just become some sort of "if it suits my mood" option. 


It's just rude to not let someone know whether you are coming or NOT. Unless the invitation says "Regrets Only", (In which case if you don't have to notify unless you aren't coming. It's a new and popular trend.) please just call or e-mail. 

Why is this soooo important? Well, apparently the party in question thought you special enough to invite you in the first place. You should think enough of them to not want to waste their time or money. When people don't respond at all, I usually consider they may still show up. Which means I am making enough food to feed them, purchasing enough plates, forks and cups to put said food on, or enough party favors for their child to take home. 

Okay, getting off my soapbox. Some help please? 

We are attending a birthday party this morning for one of Reese's friends. She is very excited and now that I have typed all of this, I am hoping Terry actually passed my R.S.V.P. along to the birthday boy's mother. Otherwise, I may get some funny looks when I show up!


Stephanie said...

This is funny, because as I was driving today I thought, "I need to respond to that bridle shower", just because we are close friends doesn't mean she will automatically think I will show. Besides, I'm sure she has a lot on her plate!

I completely agree with you. It also feels like a slap in the face to the person you are throwing a party for. Especially baby showers.
I did for one, and some of the people who said they would be there didn't show - how rude! No excuse on forgetting, I called the day before. It's like you said, people thought to invite you, it's not like it was something random. 2 hours of your life, unless you are sick, will not harm you. Get off your "me" mantra, and do something for someone else! Ha - can you tell I'm a little passionate about this? By the way, you don't know me, know me - but I go to the Tulsa and am very active there in LK - I started reading Cindy's blog about a year ago and got hooked on Cindy, Natalie, Robin M and Kim - and then one day your post popped up. So in case you were wondering, that's me. :) Thanks for letting me rant on the RSVP issue!

Cindy Beall said...

I could not agree more. I am a responder when I get an RSVP message. It's just courteous... thinking of someone else more than I think of myself.

Susie said...

I personally love it when an invite says "RSVP if declining". I don't have to call if I'm coming. I love evites too, since you get to see who else is coming and the comments are fun too!

Parties have slowed down a bit as the kids get older, and no one rarely has RSVP on those. I personally like to know whose coming for supplies.

Kelly said...

Not responding makes me crazy.. the girls are eager to know if their friends are coming, and anticipating seeing their friends is half the fun of the party.

Of course, having said that I remember that I have a shower and b-day party to rsvp to myself. Better practice what I'm preaching:-)