As I was laying in bed one night thinking about life, and Terry, it hit me. This sense of such a deep love. I thought to myself, "I truly love him more today than I did when we got married."
And before you say, "Well duh, I hope so." let me say that I have been told time and time again, as you go along in your marriage, "Love is not a feeling; it's a choice." And maybe that is true at times, but I know what I feel. I am here to say, at least for me, it's both.
I should mention that this particular feeling hasn't always been there. I have had the "I know this is the guy for me" feeling, the "I really WANT you" feeling (aren't honeymoons fabulous?), and the "I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you" feeling. I've even had the "Do I really have to live the rest of my life with you?" feeling after a particularly rough time in our marriage--which wasn't all that long ago.
At that point "Love is a Choice" became my mantra. I laid it at the Lord's feet, because I had no idea how to do this thing--submit and trust and release control (there's a little reveal into my iceberg). And it's still hard, but I'm trying.
All of a sudden, out of the blue, this feeling. It was almost as if the Holy Spirit said, "If you just keep trusting God, and do what he asks in regard to your marriage, you will get so much more than that tiny glimpse of a feeling; you'll feel like that all of the time."
And I'm all over that! Because that first love feeling is great, but I can tell you right now, it's got nothing on what I feel for my husband right now at this very moment.