Sunday, October 28, 2007

An Iceberg of Sin

Only about 8% of an iceberg can be seen above the water. It's amazing to me that as a ship travels across the ocean, what looks like a great big innocent ice cube above the water line could indeed kill everyone on board if the captain isn't paying attention.

Still, I have an iceberg that needs to be addressed. I could go around it, (I have been for years.) but it would still be there. And let's face it, I travel these waters called life every day and eventually it will do major damage. We all have character flaws, but what I am talking about is a character sin that continually keeps me from doing what God needs me to do. It keeps my heart from being completely malleable in my captain's capable hands. And, it has to be addressed.

Of course, I've known it's been there for a long time. I can see it...but only about 8%. This move to Oklahoma that has rocked my world for the past ten months, forced me to get off the boat. Yes, into the freezing waters where I could look under the surface. See how big this thing is.

Good heavens. Big. Huge. Ginormous. And not in a good way.

I really don't know what to do about it yet. I see it. It's bigger than me. Not bigger than God of course, but WAY bigger than me.

Can I get back on the boat? On my deck chair and read a book? =)

No, I can't. Now that I know it's enormity and God wants it to be dealt with, ignoring it is out of the question. Five million more questions have popped up in it's place.

And, I'm not going to share what all of this is. I really need to be focused on Him. I need Him.

God is my captain. I'm glad he's paying attention.

I Don't Even Know Where to Start

There is so much going on. So much to blog about. So much I don't even know where to start.

Do I tell you that in the last three days my youngest has pulled a dresser over on top of herself, ate part of a glow stick...again, had at least 15 accidents even though she's potty trained, tried to pour her own dose of decongestant and poured the entire bottle of Dimetapp on the floor, (she still smells like grape), got her fingers caught in between the door and the walkway of my portable, and dismantled several glue sticks while "helping" me in my room this morning?

Or, do I mention this is the first weekend in the past 8 that we have not had company? Please don't get me wrong. I love each and every person that has come. I miss them like crazy, but 7 weekends in a row means a lot of meals, even more toilet paper, and one tired workin' momma. I'm actually ready for my week now that I have had two days with nothing to do. Well, except clean five thousand pounds of dog hair off the stained concrete floors. I know if we had carpet it would actually be just stuck there, but at least I couldn't see it.

What else in my random-ness can I bring up?

I would become a member of a cult that extolled the greatness of Michael Scott, if one were available. Maybe I should start one? If you aren't watching "The Office", you are indeed missing out on one of life's guilty pleasures.

Actually, I don't feel guilty at all.

So, I guess it's just a pleasure then.

Moving on...

The girls are currently listening to that song where the dogs bark the theme to Jingle Bells. Exciting stuff here people.

I just bored myself reading my own post. But I'm publishing anyway or you guys might just think I've fallen off the face of the earth.

I guess I'm just checking in. Y'all have a great week!

Sunday, October 07, 2007

When Best Friends Collide

I could have also named this post, "If Loving a Lip Gloss is Wrong, I Don't Want to be Right"

My friend Richelle is here from Dallas and I couldn't be happier! We're having a blast and Terry even watched all four kids yesterday so we could go to Kohl's by ourselves yesterday. At which point I bought this fabulous lip gloss from Flirt. It's the greatest shade for fall.

Okay, have to run. Too much fun to be had in too short amount of time.

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Tales from the ELL Zone

I am an ELL Teacher. I love being an ELL teacher, and here is just one reason why:

While discussing how to change a noun from singular to plural (most commonly by adding -s, by the way) I looked at my class and asked, "Now, how can I go from one dog to more than one dog?"

The reply?

"Go buy the other dog." And he totally meant it.

I couldn't help but giggle and smile.

On another note: go read this post for a real gafaw!

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

I Guess This Blog is Just for Me!

A week or so ago Terry changed a few things on my blog. Consequently, my new post (notice I didn't say posts) hasn't shown up on any blog reader. That means the only people who are now checking in here are my friends who generally don't comment. That's okay, I still love y'all because you call me and tell me you care. And read. You know who you are. Because you lived in Corinth with me. Amy. and Michelle. And Holly. and Richelle.

But I digress. The point is this: I suddenly feel kind of free to post what I want without worrying about who is reading it. Since my friends really know me and all. And there is nothing controversial about what I am about to post or anything, but since no one is really reading I can ramble all I want. So there.

This is for all of the moms out there...

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response,
The way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and
Ask to Be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, "Can't you see I'm on
The Phone?" Obviously not. (personally I think they can see, and that's why they have chosen this moment to need you. )No one can see if I'm on the phone, or
Cooking, or Sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner,
Because no One can see me at all. I'm invisible.

Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this?
Can You tie this? Can you open this? Some days I'm not a pair of hands;
I'm Not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, "What time is it?" I'm
a Satellite guide to answer, "What number is the Disney Channel?" I'm
a car To order, "Pick me up right around 5:30, please."

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the
Eyes That studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude --
But now They had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again.

She's going ... she's going ... she's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return
Of a Friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous
Trip, and She was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting
There, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was
Hard Not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my
Out-of-style dress; it was the only thing I could find that was

My Unwashed hair was pulled up in a banana clip and I was afraid I could
Actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic,
When Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, "I
Brought you this." It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe . I wasn't exactly
Sure Why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: "To Charlotte,
With Admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one Sees."
In the days ahead I would read -- no, devour -- the book. And I
Would Discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after
Which I Could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals
-- we Have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives
For a Work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and
Expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by
Their Faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit
The Cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a
Tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, "Why
Are You spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be
Covered by the roof? No one will ever see it."
And the workman replied, "Because God sees."
I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place.

It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, "I see you, Charlotte. I
See The sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does.
No Act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake
You've Baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are
Building a Great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become."
At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a
Disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of
My own Self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.
I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder.
As one Of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished,
to Work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the
Book Went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our
Lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that Degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend
he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, "My mom gets up at 4 in
The Morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand-bastes a turkey
For Three hours and presses all the linens for the table." That would
Mean I'd Built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to
Come Home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to
add, "You're gonna love it there."

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if

we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will
marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has
been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Being a mom is sometimes so hard and frustrating. And I thank God every day I get to do it! Whew! That was a long post. Thank God for copy and paste.