I am starting to feel like my titles could be titles for sitcoms you see on t.v. , but I digress --already!
Terry had me take a personality test tonight. Actually he called it an Attitude Test. The basic just is that it is our attitude that drive who we are. And although we can't change the general makeup of what makes us tick, we can make adjustments along the way if we really understand the core of what drives our attitudes. I hate these tests.
First of all, I am terrible at deciding if a particular word fits my personality. I could be organized at times and if it is something I am passionate about, teaching for example. The other part of the time--well, not so much. I always have to ask, "Do you think I am..." to people who know me and don't have the skewed view I have of myself. Secondly, they make me feel bad. For some reason, I always feel like since I am not all of those other things, I must be failing somewhere.
I mean, I run a household with two small children and a slightly high maintenance husband.(Those of you who know him are probably snickering right now!) Shouldn't I be very organized, firm, able to make decisions without really second guessing myself to do that well? But, this test just told me I was completely opposite of that. Not only that, but I needed to make adjustments--their nice word for changes.
I was kind of hurt. So, naturally I went for a walk with my good friend Holly to spill my guts and verbalize what I was going through so I could share with Terry when I got home in a concise manner. (This is how he listens best, so I try to work with it!)
Here is what I got through Holly and prompting of the Holy Spirit, and the real reason for this post:
I shouldn't be asking "Why can't I be like personality X? It would help me see more of Terry's point of view on things, I would have a more efficiently running household, etc."
What I should be saying is, "God, You made me exactly like you need me to be to carry out Your will for my life. At the moment I don't really see how this all fits together. I think I should be more like X than Y to get this done. But, I trust you implicitly! Thank you for the masterful work You have created in me. Please show me how to take the traits you have placed in me and soar with them!"
So, I am thankful. I pray for God's forgiveness (which I know He freely gives) that I have not really appreciated the way He has created me.